


It's Very Much Not In Sirius' Blood

by curlyremus



Series: Years of Wolfstar's Life [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Hogwarts Chamber of Secrets, I know it says general audience but there’s a fuck in there, M/M, Remus is tired and annoyed with Sirius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-05 23:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18839368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlyremus/pseuds/curlyremus
Summary: Sirius tries to open the Chamber of Secrets.





	It's Very Much Not In Sirius' Blood

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Maraudererasmut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraudererasmut/gifts).



Remus found himself falling half asleep in Professor Binns’ class. He knew he should be paying attention but it was the only time he could nap without being (majorly) disrupted by his boyfriend, Sirius. Just as he was about to actually go to sleep he felt a tap on his shoulder, he let out a groan and swatted the hand around.

“Psst,” Sirius said into his ear, Remus groaned again in return. Sirius poked his side and he finally lifted his head off the table.

“What is it?” He rubbed his eyes. Sirius was looking at him with a proud smirk splashed across his face. 

“So, I was talking to James and Peter, right-” he started saying. 

Remus raised an eyebrow. “So, go back to harassing them and let your boyfriend rest.”

“The moon was five days ago, don’t have a strop,” Sirius linked their arms together.

“I’m not having a strop, I am tired and you decided to take up bagpipe lessons, which I have no idea why,” he sighed.

“When in Scotland, do as the Scots do!” Sirius beamed. His smile was ear to ear. “Anyways, over summer I heard Walburga and some guy talking to Reg about the Chamber of Secrets.”

Remus let out another groan. “Really? A folktale?”

“Let me explain,” Sirius let out a frustrated sigh. “I overheard the other person saying something about the girl's toilets.”

“Wow, sounds legit,” Remus nodded before resting his head on the desk.

Sirius took his boyfriend’s chin between his thumb and forefinger and lifted his face off the table. He gave him the best puppy dog eyes he could and whined. “Rem.”

“Yes, yes, I’m listening.”

“After class is finished, we’re going to check it out.”

“I’m going to nap after class,” Remus shut his eyes again, knowing that he definitely won’t have a nap after class.

——

Sirius, James and Remus stood at the sinks in the abandoned girl’s toilets that Myrtle usually haunted. Peter had the task of keeping her distracted elsewhere and also, he didn’t want anything to do with opening up the Chamber of Secrets.

“Do I really have to be here?” Remus rubbed his eyes roughly. 

“Can’t you be a loving and supporting boyfriend for once?” Sirius put his hands on his hips. 

“You play the bagpipes, do you know what that’s like to listen to?” 

Sirius clutched his hand over his heart. “Bessie is beautiful!”

“Bessie is a pain and should be burned,” James rolled his eyes. 

“Thank you, James,” Remus said. 

Sirius started walking around the basins before stopping in front of one and looking at the faucet. “Wait, there’s a snake on this,” he said smiling. 

Remus just wanted to tucked up in bed and sleeping, but he was currently standing next to an equally as tired James and behind a very enthusiastic Sirius. Remus didn’t understand why his boyfriend even thought trying to open the Chamber of Secrets is even a good idea. “How isn’t that the most obvious thing in the world?”

“They might as well put a giant sign up and say ‘come here Slytherins’,” James agreed.

“What’s the plan now?” Remus amused Sirius’ plan.

“Parseltongue,” he turned around with a smile. 

James frowned. “Have you forgotten none of us actually speak it?” 

“I grew up surrounded by Slytherins, I’ve got this,” He said rolling up the sleeves of his school shirt and leaning over to the faucet. Remus had no idea what Sirius actually said but it sounded like “ssksskusaassaaah” despite being complete gibberish.

“What the actual fuck does he think he’s doing?” Remus turned to James. 

“He sounds like he’s dying, Moony do mouth to mouth resuscitation!” James grasped Remus’ arm at the same time and Sirius pretended to fake faint.

“Just leave him, at least it’s now quiet,” Remus shrugged.

Sirius opened an eye. “Oi, I’m still alive you twat.”

“Can we go now? We better save Peter from Myrtle,” James whined. Sirius immediately stood up and brushed himself off before going back over to the basin.

“I’ll try again! I’ve got this, it’s in my blood,” he said. Remus and James both groaned when Sirius started making weird snake noises again. Nothing continued to happen, Sirius sighed and stood back. “Alright, I don’t got this.”

**Author's Note:**

> my twitter & tumblr is @curlyremus


End file.
